I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize