my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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