woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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