batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Iβve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40βs is a fucking roller coaster.
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