Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How does one acquire holy water?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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