ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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