tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
be right there i have to get my cape
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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