Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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