She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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