So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
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you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
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Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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