does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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