I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Houston, we have a squirter
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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