do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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