you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
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