at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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