yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just invented taco cereal.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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