Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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