one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
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she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
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You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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