on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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