i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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