What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We got so high we made milksteak
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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