you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
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