Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i think my cat just said my name.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize