I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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