your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
please don't ironically join a cult
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