Don't make out with my wife yet
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
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