It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
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The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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