i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize