just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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