I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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