Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize