now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize