KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize