i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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