I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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