he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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