Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite

  (650): View more from California

  Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good

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  (650): Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite (650): Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good http://tfl.nu/6hx1
  Replies (7) Good night (399) Bad night (706)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.

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  (517): Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond. http://tfl.nu/hqwj
  Replies (15) Good night (461) Bad night (3031) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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  (210): By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE http://tfl.nu/98pz
  Replies (32) Good night (8998) Bad night (843) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.

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  (732): I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents. http://tfl.nu/w4fz
  Replies (15) Good night (4872) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?

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  (709): How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship? http://tfl.nu/5n74
  Replies (32) Good night (2202) Bad night (4512) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.

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  (520): She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist. http://tfl.nu/mma2
  Replies (35) Good night (4381) Bad night (1146)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.

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  (860): There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now. http://tfl.nu/p8mk
  Replies (6) Good night (3156) Bad night (726) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.

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  (785): I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers. http://tfl.nu/hlo3
  Replies (6) Good night (2213) Bad night (1037) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.

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  (678): We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward. http://tfl.nu/10ml
  Replies (3) Good night (828) Bad night (2206) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm off the liquor

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick

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  (403): I'm off the liquor (1-403): You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick http://tfl.nu/sglp
  Replies (7) Good night (1881) Bad night (526) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...

  (567): View more from Ohio

  Keep it.

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  (419): I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate... (567): Keep it. http://tfl.nu/x8n2
  Replies (0) Good night (881) Bad night (369)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Like it was yesterday.

  (254): View more from Texas

  Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...

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  (254): Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears? (517): Like it was yesterday. (254): Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery... http://tfl.nu/058m
  Replies (5) Good night (1018) Bad night (243)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.

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  (630): It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again. http://tfl.nu/c0k2
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (246) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.

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  (701): If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs. http://tfl.nu/qa5n
  Replies (5) Good night (354) Bad night (1043) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.

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  (651): Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called. http://tfl.nu/hamr
  Replies (1) Good night (841) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt

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