The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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