if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I enjoy the company of your penis
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize