I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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