I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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