based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize