The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize