We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize