I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
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sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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