I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
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i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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