put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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