I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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