Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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