Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize